What did I just watch? Movies beyond the Netflix queue
An old man falls for a woman young enough to be his great-great-great-great grandaughter. They drink each other’s blood.
The Bram Stoker adaptation that dares to include all the aimless travel sequences.
When an undercover librarian aggravates the neighboring aristocrat, he enfenestrates to exsanguinate.
Valley girls survive the zombie apocalypse, but will they survive rescue?
Two stranded wickies get on one another’s absolute last nerve.
A gadget-laden jewel thief continually eludes justice.
A family curse guarantees two sisters will be at each other’s throats.
A serial-killer’s new wife is haunted by the ghost of his old one.
A midwestern family does psychic battle with a ghostly samurai while unintentionally(?) exploring toxic gender relationships.
Monster terrorizes a small town, but not as much as everyone's inner demons do.
A better-than-the-original take on an Edgar Allan Poe classic.
Intense family drama turns into haunted-house horror at about the 50% mark.
This pre-code adventure movie is so shockingly racist you might find yourself pulling for the evil genius instead.
Bodies are showing up with their brains and spinal columns removed; is the local military base at fault?
This low-budget, high-quality suspense film from 1942 blends jump scares with sexual anxiety and gender politics to create a deceptively simple movie people are still arguing about today.
Ursula Andress and Marcello Mastroianni play a deadly game of cat and mouse except the mouse is borderline suicidal and the cat likes to make things overly complicated.
Not the best spy spoof, but certainly one of the first.
The production of a zombie movie descends into chaos when real zombies show up and the director won’t stop the shoot.
A mad scientist shoves Tammy’s boyfriend’s brain into a robot dinosaur. Can this relationship be saved?
A new revenge movie staring Nic Cage leans heavily on slow motion and red filters.
After Jen is assaulted and left for dead she pulls herself together, then takes her attackers apart.
This movie would be a great travel promotion for a sleepy Greek island if it wasn’t for all the blood.
A star-studded cast brings to life many classic detectives to solve the murder of Truman Capote.
Returning to lighter topics, but with fewer of the series regulars, this Carry On relies too much on slapstick and a cross-dressing plot.
This unwelcome return to black-and-white features a lot of K-turns and retrograde politics.
Captain Crowther is looking to move on, but will his new crew sabotage his chance at glory?
When times are hard, you take what work you can get. And sometimes the result is a collection of loosely related comic sketches.
The Carry On team turns in a fair cop comedy.
An English hospital is the setting for a loosely connected series of comic sketches.
Can you spoil a nearly sixty-year-old movie? Let’s see.
The kids are rowdy and the Headmaster is looking for a way out.
Contents © 2020 John H. Williams